Posts Tagged "friend"

Friendship & Relationship Trust

November 14th, 2008 flattley
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So, today I was posed the following question by a friend:

“When does one start to let ones guard down and trust the other person in a friendship or relationship”

I thought it quite interesting that he posed that question to me today as I am having trouble with friendships at the moment.

I am just gonna share some of my thoughts on that.

Relationship

In a relationship, the trust needs to be there right from the beginning. Your guard needs to be down right from the off. If you go into a relationship with your guard up and don’t trust the other person right from the word go, then you might as well not be in the relationship. If you do stay in the relationship, it will become very hard for you to let your guard down and trust the other person. The longer you have the guard up, the harder it is to lower that guard. The only reason that the guard needs to go back up in a relationship is when trust is violated. There should be no guards for any reason other than that.

Friendship

For a friendship, it works on the same principles as a relationship. However, there do need to be boundaries in place in a friendship – boundaries are different to guards though. Boundaries stipulate the course and direction of a friendship and charts what is and what isn’t allowed in the friendship. Guards will just alienate you from the friendship. Trust between friends is very important. It is normal to be cautious when entering a new friendship, you can generally see how your soon-to-be friends are with their other friends. If you don’t like what you see, then don’t go into the friendship at all rather than go in with a raised guard. As with a relationship, the raised guard becomes harder to lower the longer the time passes. If you do like what you see, then you can go into the friendship with guards lowered. It is, however, still normal to be cautious.

The only thing I will say about friendships is that if that trust is violated, it will make it harder to make future friendships as you will be wary of everyone’s motives and won’t want to get hurt again.

A caution if you are a friend: when you violate a friends trust, you not only lose a friend but make it harder for them to trust again and gain new friends. Be careful what you do!

So, my thoughts are that trust is needed from the beginning for relationships and friendships. If it isn’t there, then don’t venture any further with them, take a few steps back and let them pass you by.

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Brum Brum Or Woof Woof

August 9th, 2006 flattley
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Let me start off this post by saying if I didn’t write I was under fear of being buried in a back yard with a dog!

So, it’s Wednesday August 9th right now and i’ve just seen an advertisment for Pixar’s Cars. It reminded me that I need to write about the time I went to see it in West Jordan, Utah.

I went with a friend of mine to see the movie and I highly recommend people to go and see it. The charcters are great. I particularly like the character of Mater. Mater is a tow truck in Radiator Springs.

Mater cracked me up, he was the character I most laughed at. I like the scene where he goes tractor tipping. Hilarious. I’m gonna include some pictures in this blog

Radiator Springs Postcard

Mater

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The Stag Do

May 3rd, 2006 flattley
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So, last night – Tuesday May 02 – was my Stag Do.

It was really great. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

There were 9 of us and we had the use of the hot tub and played some playstation.

I just sat around and watched and ate some good food along with the rest of the guys.

It was good to be able to sit there and just chill and have some all round good fun.

I just want to thank all those that came and tell them all what a super fab time I had and what a send off into married life it was.

  • John Baran
  • Clint Bergstrom
  • Javier Camaño
  • Cody Fonnesbeck
  • Ezra Frenzel
  • Spencer Neese
  • Dad
  • Steven

Big thanks again to you guys.

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Chili’s & The Hot Tub

April 27th, 2006 flattley
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So, my day was OK today. Didn’t really do much in the morning. Went to Old Navy so I could exchange some jeans I bought as they weren’t the right style.

I came back from Old Navy and watched a couple of DVD’s: Wimbledon (Highly Recommended) and The Best 2 Years (A Mormon Film) – this one is funny too.

In the afternoon I took a bit of a nap.

In the evening, one of my missionary companions came over to see me. We went up to his house so we could pick up his wife and go to dinner. On the way to his house, we drove through the mountain. Scared me being so high up. People had houses on the tops of the mountain. I mean, why the heck would you do that. Why would you put yourself so high up? Some people are just born crazy. I’m one of them for sure, but not enough to build a house on top of the mountain.

We went to dinner at Chili’s. I had a sirloin steak and grilled salmon. Boy did that fill me up. I didn’t want to get out of the seat. I felt like I could just go to sleep right there and then. The customer service in America is 2nd to none.

After that, we dropped Bergstrom’s wife off at home and we went to Salt Lake Airport to surprise my wife to be (In just 9 days, 9 days you say. How do you think I feel. It’s crept up on me that’s for sure!). She was surprised when she saw me. She decided to go straight home as she was tired and I didn’t want to make her cranky.

Me and Bergstrom came back down to Highland to use the hot tub of the people we were staying with. Man, I did not want to get out and neither did he. I feel bad for him though as he has to drive all the way back to Salt Lake and I can just go to my room and sleep (Which, BTW, I didn’t – and I never went back into the hot tub.).

Well, he’s now on his way home and I am on here and decided to write about my day.

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My Weekend Away

April 9th, 2006 flattley
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Well, let me start by saying: Damn National Rail. The train I was meant to catch from my station – the 19:09 direct to where I was going – didn’t stop. Someone must have forgot to tell the driver that he needed to stop. Well, they didn’t and he went whoosh right past me and didn’t stop. How mad was I! Needless to say that it took me an extra hour to get to my destination! UGH!

I finally arrived at 21:30. Yay. Met Taylor and went to his house. On the way from the station in Nottingham, I spied a Hooters – Taylor told me that we couldn’t go. Boo Hoo. We went for the next best thing instead – KFC. This was no ordinary KFC, this was a one with an A&W on it. How pleased was I. I love root beer – I mean, more than any other drink here in plain old blighty (England to those of you not from here)

We went home and talked forever and finally went to sleep.

On the Saturday morning, we decided to go right into the Peak District to a place called Treak Cliff Cavern. My first thought was whoopee a cave (sense the sarcasm there). When I got there – after climbing what felt like the highest mountain ever (I know, you guys from across the pond are shouting it’s just a hill – be that as it may), we got to the entrance. We went on a tour of the caves in there. It turned out to be pretty cool. I got wet from all the water seeping through the rocks.

It was a nice cave though, as nice as caves can be I suppose – not that i’d know as this is the first cave i’ve been in. After the 40 minute tour ended, we went back outside and descended down the mountain to where the entrance was. Done the touristy gift shop bit. We were about to head home and it started hailing. It was so heavy, like the mountain was falling down.

After the caves, we headed into a town called Eyam. The town is famous in the Peak District for being plague infested. It was a nice little walk.

We went to the cinema to see Ice Age 2. Classic. So funny. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s now Sunday and I am back to what you would call life and what I would call boring as hell.

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