A bloke on his way home from work comes to a dead halt in traffic and thinks to himself, “Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing’s moving.”
He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks: “Officer what’s the hold up?”
The officer replies: “It’s a Man Utd fan, he’s just so depressed about losing the premiership to Arsenal last season and again to Chelsea this season, being knocked out of Europe and the prospect of winning sod-all after gobbing off all season, selling out to a yank, he’s threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire.
He says his family hates him, his mates are all laughing at him and he
has never had a job.
I’m walking around taking a collection for him.” “Oh really?” says the bloke. “How much have you collected so far?”. “Only about 1/2 a litre, but a lot of people are still siphoning.”
